I've been reading a novel about a futuristic society fueled by information technology. The novel portrays the degradation that a culture falls into when we become too dependant on our technology. In the main character's disillusionment, he searches for meaning in a primitive tribe in Africa, hoping to find a culture less corrupted by the evils of the modern age. What he learns is that, although they lack the technology and access to unlimited information that the developed world possesses, tribal life is just as cruel and corrupt. His discovery comes as a result of witnessing a brutal female genital mutilation ritual, performed on the bare dirt ground, with no anesthetic, no sterilization, as a 13 year old girl screams and writhes in pain and the rest of the tribe looks on, chanting. The members of the tribe explain to the outsider that it must be done, it always has been. Females who have the ability to take pleasure in sex threaten the established culture. It is thought that such a woman cannot be controlled, and will "wander from tent to tent like a whore". Furthermore, it has to hurt, and through the pain she will learn her place in society.
It was a fairly disturbing read, and it brought up so many emotions in me, especially in light of my own experience with genital mutilation. You can try to argue that our modern, enlightened culture doesn't perform such rites of passage in the civilized world, but I beg to differ. I learned our society's true attitudes towards women when I was 21, giving birth to my first daughter in the hospital. Giving birth is one of our important rights of passage, a passing from childhood to adulthood. How gently and lovingly that transition is made affects the person making the transition in a significant way, as it teaches them what they can expect from their new status in life. It also says a lot about the culture the individual is a part of, and defines the relationship between the individual and the group.
Having learned a little about the dangers of medical intervention in the birth process, I requested a natural, medication free birth. I specifically requested that I be given no episiotomy, as I had learned that it is faster and easier for the body to heal after a naturally occurring tear, than a surgical cut and subsequent stitches. For those of you who are unfamiliar, an episiotomy is a cut made to the perimeum, which is the skin between the vagina and the anus. The supposed purpose is to enlarge the vagina to make room for the baby's head. The practice is not only painful, but unnecessary, disrespectful, cruel, and hateful.
I say unnecessary for this reason, the body is made to birth a baby. The vagina (also known as the birth canal) is specifically designed to allow a baby to emerge. That is why it is so stretchy. Take my elbow as an example. I am sure you will all agree that my arm is meant to bend. When I bend my arm, I do not worry about the skin suddenly becoming too taught and bursting open, causing me to die of blood loss. I have danced the chicken dance many times, and the thought has never occurred to me. Try it for yourself, if you like. Make your arm into the shape of a chicken wing, by putting your hand on the inside of your shoulder. See? Your skin is still intact. It is just as easy for the vagina to stretch around a baby's head. To believe otherwise is not only ridiculous, or spitting in the face of Nature, but it is suggesting (as the medical profession often does) that women's bodies don't work, that we are improperly designed or somehow defective.
I suppose I should not be surprise that the medical profession doesn't truly understand the basic functions of a woman's body. After all, they are a patriarchal society, and hold women's bodies in very low esteem. If this was not true, why would so many women be emerging from medically managed births with mutilated genitals? There is a reason that certain people have coined the term "birth rape". The episiotomy was given to me without my consent. The nameless, faceless stranger who sat down in front of my most private parts as I was pushing out my first child said "I'm going to do an episiotomy." When my husband said "She doesn't want an episiotomy", he said "Too late. It's already done." The cut was about an inch long. It took me six months to heal. Sex was a painful experience for me long after my child was born. The anger I felt over the clear violation lasted for years.
Before you go thinking that this story is grotesque, consider for a minute that there are far worse forms of abuse going on in North American hospitals than episiotomies. In fact, the numbers are reaching a staggering one in four, or in some hospitals one in three. The uterus is an extension of the genitals. Despite being the sacred home of our child, and the mysterious realm of womanhood, or perhaps because of those things, it is being cut up like a disposable piece of flesh. The enlightening, empowering experience of birthing our babies is being robbed from us, as our bodies are damaged, violated and abused, often without our full informed consent or because we are being bullied or threatened into consenting. We are being lied to (told our bodies don't work), and if we do not agree to let them do whatever they want to our bodies, we are told that we are putting our selves and our babies at risk.
If you have been a victim of a medical birth experience, I am so sorry. I have no real solutions for mental and emotional healing at this point, but I believe that having proper knowledge of and faith in our bodies is key. We have to realize that we were wronged, that they had no right to do that to us. I hope that each one of us can uncover the lies that were told to us, and sort it out from the truth. I hope that one day, women can be truly empowered to be in charge of their bodies and their births. I hope that one day, our society's attitudes will change, in regards to the treatment of women, and this rite of passage that brings us into the stage of our lives on which the human race depends.
