It all started one day when I was sitting in my friend's kitchen having tea. I was pregnant with my second child. We chatted and drank tea, and her seven month old sat on her lap and periodically nursed. Then without explanation, she walked over to the kitchen sink, took off her baby's pants, and held her baby in the sink for a moment, whispering something in her ear. I thought I heard water running. As she put her baby's pants back on and returned to the table, I was dumbfounded. I stared at her for a moment like she had two heads, and blurted out "Did your baby just pee in the sink?" I still wasn't sure what I had just witnessed, but I knew I had never seen anything like it.
That started the process of learning an entirely new way of diapering- no diapers at all! In North America, the technique is called Elimination Communication, or simply diaper free. In some other cultures, it is normal.
The theory is that babies are aware from birth of a pee or poo coming on. They can communicate that they have to go through body language or vocal signals. From birth, they have the ability to consciously eliminate. If we can pick up on their signals, and offer them an appropriate place to go, they can maintain their natural awareness of their body's functions. If we keep them in diapers, we are teaching them that the diaper is where we want them to go, and later in life, we have to re-train them to use the potty. Often, by this point, they have forgotten how to recognize their body's signals in time to make it to the potty, and they have to re-learn this skill.
So, Elimination Communication, or EC, means you don't have to potty train. It means your baby will not be sitting in pee or poo. She will not get diaper rashes. It may reduce fussiness (she may be crying or squirming because she is about to go). She will be less likely to get constipated, and less likely to wet the bed when older. You reduce the use of disposable diapers that end up in the landfill, or the energy consumption and detergent it takes to wash cloth diapers. Best of all, you are increasing the communicative and trusting bond between child and parent!
I ought to mention that you don't literally have to go diaper free. Any kind of diaper can be used just in case you miss it, and believe me, you will. This is not an all or nothing thing. What matters is the effort, and hopefully the gradual growth. I never did master the technique, but we did catch most pee's, and my daughter rarely wet a diaper. I never had to "potty train" her, and she never wet the bed.
Here's how we did it. When she was born, I left her naked a lot. Babies don't really go in their sleep, they usually do it when they wake up, or they stir, pee, and go back to sleep. So, we started with taking her every time she woke up. We held her with her back to our stomach, our hands under her knees, bum over the sink (usually the bathroom). We told her it was okay to go by making the pissing sound, and we also taught her a hand signal for pee. It worked from one day old! This was amazing to witness!
She would pee at other times, and we had to learn to read her signals. Often, if she was nursing and pulled off the boob in (what seemed like) mid feed, I knew it was about to come- fast! For these moments I kept a pee or poo catcher next to me while I was nursing. I kept it next to my bed, too, for those middle of the night pee's. We started out using a bowl, but later used a small one piece BabyBjorn potty. This is my very favorite potty ever made, and I had to order it special on the Internet. Now you can get them all over. Just these few changes eliminated most of our wet diapers each day, and she started sitting on this potty on her own at about six months old, shortly after learning to crawl.
Like I said, I never became an expert at it, but it certainly helped my daughter and I bond, made our lives easier and less messy. It's worth a try. If you are reading this, and you have experience with EC, I'd love it if you'd comment on your own experience, and if there's any helpful tips that I've missed. If you want to know more, I'll leave you with a link with EC info and resources to get you started.
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org
Finn has been ECed since birth. We often leave her diaper free around the house. When we do diaper her at home, its in a prefold with a prefold belt to allow us to take the diaper off quickly. We have good days and bad days. Even on our bad days we catch at least half of all her pees. We rarely miss a poop. From only a few weeks old, she stopped pooping at night in bed. She would fuss until we took her to the sink. Only a few weeks later, she started going long stretches at night without peeing too. Now at 3.5 months old she often goes 6-8 hours at a time without peeing, and wakes up dry so I can potty her. Maybe half the time she wakes up in the same diaper she went to bed in :) Days are beginning to get a bit more difficult as she's becoming so curious and interested in the world around her. Her signals have become more subtle, so I rely more on timing to catch her.
ReplyDeleteI love the bond EC has created. I can't imagine not doing it with her now. I regret not doing it more with my older kids. At this rate, Finn will be dry every night before my 6 year old!
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ReplyDeleteOh, I thought I'd also tell you about something I learned a few weeks ago that has helped us immensely with ECing! Sometimes I'd know Finn had to pee, but when I'd hold her up she wouldn't go. No sooner did I lay her down to replace her diaper then she would pee! I read about the sphincter response to gravity though and it makes sense. When our bladder is full, the weight of it causes the sphincter to tighten. The more weight, the tighter it gets. That's why it helps us to "hold it" longer when we bounce up and down ;) When there is pressure on the sphincter it becomes harder to release. Thus the reason Finn would pee when prone, the sphincter relaxed! So now, if she doesn't pee when I take her to the sink, I hold her prone for about 10-15 seconds then try again. It almost always works! Also gives me the idea to bounce her upright a bit if I need her to hold it just for a few minutes longer ;)
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