Powerful Mamas, Peaceful Births

I hit that 40 week mark earlier this week.  Not that there is anything magical about that number, but I did celebrate my going outside and taking some pictures.  The setting is not really a forest, but just a small grove of poplars, some of the only trees on our little acreage.  And even though fall in Alberta is not as colorful as other places, I LOVE the fall leaves.  So here I am kneeling on the ground in a very "ready to give birth" position.  This is the position some unassisted birthers take, because they can reach down and catch their baby in their own hands.  This picture makes me feel powerful, which I am.

Not that saying this is an ego thing, or that I feel I am any more powerful than anybody else, except that I believe in myself.  Unfortunately, I think people often underestimate pregnant women (and women in general).  We are capable of so much more than most people expect of us, and often than we expect of ourselves.  During this pregnancy, I have rototilled a large garden space, shovelled truckloads of mulch, planted, weeded, and harvested.  Not to mention packed and moved my family, patched drywall, learned to milk a goat, trimmed goat's hooves (which was no small task), built a milk stand, and put up a fence.  One thing my parents told me over and over growing up: "You can do anything you set your mind to."

So as my body prepares to have this baby, I set my mind to give birth, and I believe that I can.  I won't be alone, necessarily, but I will be in charge.  I will have the final say in who participates in this birth and in what way, and in what happens to my baby in the moments following.  Unassisted birth doesn't necessarily mean you give birth without help.  I am helped by my supportive friends and family, my husband, and a knowledgeable woman I have invited to be present, whom I believe understands and agrees with my preferences.  Unassisted birth, or more appropriately called freebirth involves a woman's right to choose where, how and with whom she gives birth.  There is no government sanctioned "professional" in attendance or in charge at a freebirth, but rather the birthing mother is the expert on her own body and what she needs to birth her baby safely and effectively.  She is free to follow her intuition and free from routine procedures, which can interfere with the course of labor.

This is not a new thing.  It is a very traditional way of birthing.  One hundred years ago, before the advent of medically managed birth on a large scale, it was the way most women birthed, and such has been the case throughout history in most cultures.  Often, the birth was attended by a female relative or trusted woman in the community, but an understanding of the process was usually common among women, and not seen as something that required patriarchal interference.

It is a fallacy to believe that our medical system has made birth safer for women or babies.  Even in our prosperous, developed nation, the morbidity and mortality rates of hospital births are extremely high, and the rate of surgery is ten times what is considered safe.  Many women and babies are injured by invasive techniques and instruments, and surgical deliveries are dangerous and painful to recover from.

That being said, the process of natural birth is a delicate dance of hormones and responses within the mother's body and the baby.  Allowing the body to cultivate these hormones is the only way to a safe, natural birth without complications.  The birth hormones flow at their best when the mother is comfortable, relaxed and free from fear.  The same is true for all mammals, and is a biological necessity.  A mother gives birth when and where she feels it is safe to do so.  If she does not feel safe, her body will hold back until she does.

With that in mind, I don't recommend unassisted birth to anyone.  I don't recommend home birth with a midwife.  I don't recommend hospital birth or birth centers.  The only place a woman should give birth is the place in which she feels most safe and comfortable.  She should recognize that there are options, and the choice is hers to make.  She should chose carefully for her sake and her baby's.  She should believe in her abilities.  I have chosen the way of giving birth that I feel is best for me.  As my body prepares to give birth, I prepare my mind as well.  I remind myself that I am a strong and powerful person.  My body is up for the task, and I can do anything I set my mind to.

On the Treatment of Women

I've been reading a novel about a futuristic society fueled by information technology.  The novel portrays the degradation that a culture falls into when we become too dependant on our technology.  In the main character's disillusionment, he searches for meaning in a primitive tribe in Africa, hoping to find a culture less corrupted by the evils of the modern age.  What he learns is that, although they lack the technology and access to unlimited information that the developed world possesses, tribal life is just as cruel and corrupt.  His discovery comes as a result of witnessing a brutal female genital mutilation ritual, performed on the bare dirt ground, with no anesthetic, no sterilization, as a 13 year old girl screams and writhes in pain and the rest of the tribe looks on, chanting.  The members of the tribe explain to the outsider that it must be done, it always has been.  Females who have the ability to take pleasure in sex threaten the established culture.  It is thought that such a woman cannot be controlled, and will "wander from tent to tent like a whore".  Furthermore, it has to hurt, and through the pain she will learn her place in society.

It was a fairly disturbing read, and it brought up so many emotions in me, especially in light of my own experience with genital mutilation.  You can try to argue that our modern, enlightened culture doesn't perform such rites of passage in the civilized world, but I beg to differ.  I learned our society's true attitudes towards women when I was 21, giving birth to my first daughter in the hospital.  Giving birth is one of our important rights of passage, a passing from childhood to adulthood.  How gently and lovingly that transition is made affects the person making the transition in a significant way, as it teaches them what they can expect from their new status in life.  It also says a lot about the culture the individual is a part of, and defines the relationship between the individual and the group.

Having learned a little about the dangers of medical intervention in the birth process, I requested a natural, medication free birth.  I specifically requested that I be given no episiotomy, as I had learned that it is faster and easier for the body to heal after a naturally occurring tear, than a surgical cut and subsequent stitches.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, an episiotomy is a cut made to the perimeum, which is the skin between the vagina and the anus.  The supposed purpose is to enlarge the vagina to make room for the baby's head.  The practice is not only painful, but unnecessary, disrespectful, cruel, and hateful.

I say unnecessary for this reason, the body is made to birth a baby.  The vagina (also known as the birth canal) is specifically designed to allow a baby to emerge.  That is why it is so stretchy.  Take my elbow as an example.  I am sure you will all agree that my arm is meant to bend.  When I bend my arm, I do not worry about the skin suddenly becoming too taught and bursting open, causing me to die of blood loss.  I have danced the chicken dance many times, and the thought has never occurred to me.  Try it for yourself, if you like.  Make your arm into the shape of a chicken wing, by putting your hand on the inside of your shoulder.  See?  Your skin is still intact.  It is just as easy for the vagina to stretch around a baby's head.  To believe otherwise is not only ridiculous, or spitting in the face of Nature, but it is suggesting (as the medical profession often does) that women's bodies don't work, that we are improperly designed or somehow defective.

I suppose I should not be surprise that the medical profession doesn't truly understand the basic functions of a woman's body.  After all, they are a patriarchal society, and hold women's bodies in very low esteem.  If this was not true, why would so many women be emerging from medically managed births with mutilated genitals?  There is a reason that certain people have coined the term "birth rape".  The episiotomy was given to me without my consent.  The nameless, faceless stranger who sat down in front of my most private parts as I was pushing out my first child said "I'm going to do an episiotomy."  When my husband said "She doesn't want an episiotomy", he said "Too late.  It's already done."  The cut was about an inch long.  It took me six months to heal.  Sex was a painful experience for me long after my child was born.  The anger I felt over the clear violation lasted for years.

Before you go thinking that   this story is grotesque, consider for a minute that there are far worse forms of abuse going on in North American hospitals than episiotomies.  In fact, the numbers are reaching a staggering one in four, or in some hospitals one in three.  The uterus is an extension of the genitals.  Despite being the sacred home of our child, and the mysterious realm of womanhood, or perhaps because of those things, it is being cut up like a disposable piece of flesh.  The enlightening, empowering experience of birthing our babies is being robbed from us, as our bodies are damaged, violated and abused, often without our full informed consent or because we are being bullied or threatened into consenting.  We are being lied to (told our bodies don't work), and if we do not agree to let them do whatever they want to our bodies, we are told that we are putting our selves and our babies at risk.

If you have been a victim of a medical birth experience, I am so sorry.  I have no real solutions for mental and emotional healing at this point, but I believe that having proper knowledge of and faith in our bodies is key.  We have to realize that we were wronged, that they had no right to do that to us.  I hope that each one of us can uncover the lies that were told to us, and sort it out from the truth.  I hope that one day, women can be truly empowered to be in charge of their bodies and their births.  I hope that one day, our society's attitudes will change, in regards to the treatment of women, and this rite of passage that brings us into the stage of our lives on which the human race depends.