Half a Pregnancy Come and Gone

Well, it's been a few months!  I intended to keep this blog up throughout my pregnancy, but here I am half way through it, and I haven't even told my blog that I'm pregnant.  Although most of you probably already know.  I've been pregnant since sometime in January, which puts this baby due sometime in Libra.  Probably.

I've been informed that my neighbor has commented "Holy cow!  Does she ever look pregnant!"  Umm, yeah...  I think I look a lot like I did at this stage with my other two.  I am big all around.  I have a round belly.  I will still be getting much bigger and much rounder.  Some women remain tiny when they are pregnant.  I don't.

But I feel great!  The first trimester was miserably nauseous (also normal for me).  Now I am in the "I feel great" stage, the second trimester.  I have plenty of energy, and I am keeping busy.  I'm gardening out of town and here in my backyard.  The rain has kept me in all week so I'm keeping busy by making some pajamas for the kids.  I haven't decided yet if I'm doing this because I'm too cheap to buy pajamas or if I actually enjoy doing this.  I keep reminding myself that handmade things are better.

I had a bit of a scare when I was about twelve or thirteen weeks along in my pregnancy.  I was driving home from work at 2:30 in the morning when I hit black ice.  I was traveling full highway speed.  My van went into the ditch and rolled.  Emergency crews were called.  It took me a while to remember that I was pregnant, and when I told EMS, they asked if I wanted to go to the hospital, presumably to have an ultrasound to see if the baby was alright.  I refused.  First of all, if the baby is fine, why would I want to stress him/her out further by having an ultrasound and by going to the hospital, a place where I am always uncomfortable?  Second, if I am going to miscarry, there is nothing they can do to stop it, and I would rather do it in the comfort of my own home.

Obviously, everything went along just fine with the pregnancy.  This one has been different than my other two.  I haven't taken a pregnancy test.  I haven't attended any prenatal appointments.  I haven't heard the heartbeat or had any ultrasounds.  I haven't even weighed myself or measured my fundus (womb).  I felt the slightest movements around 18 weeks, and since then I feel movements every now and then.

This is the way pregnancy has been done since the dawn of humanity, up until sometime in the last 100 years or so.  I don't see the need for technology or professionals to help me do what women have always been able to do.  Yes, there are some risks.  Some people have been injured or died during the birth process.  But plenty more people have been injured or died while driving, and yet that is something we do without having a professional there to hold our hand.  As a matter of fact, I've been a professional driver for five years, and there is still a chance I could be in a serious accident.

You can't take the risk out of life, but you can take out the enjoyment.  You can take out the satisfaction. You can take out the freedom.  To me, giving birth in the medical system is doing just that.  It is putting myself in a position where my dignity and autonomy are compromised, where I do not have a say over when I eat, what position I labor in, what I wear, who is around.  I believe it is also introducing unnecessary risks to me and my baby.  Like the risks that come with interventions, forceps, episiotomies, drugs, surgery.

Contrast that to labor at home, where the mother is in charge.  Her body tells her what she needs- food, sleep, a walk, a change in position.  She is aware of what is going on in her body as she opens up and the baby descends.  She is in the environment that makes her feel most comfortable- her own kitchen, her own bathroom, her own bed.  She is surrounded by people she loves and trusts, who fully believe in her ability to get the job done.  This type of birth is not just for the brave or crazy.  It is simply what makes sense.